


Salaam, Shalom

by tolstayas



Series: Augenblicke: Druck Missing Scenes [3]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Bisexual Character, Double Date, F/M, Fluff, Gay Character, Jewish Character, M/M, Muslim Character, Muslim/Jewish Solidarity, Religious Discussion, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26443513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tolstayas/pseuds/tolstayas
Summary: A double date; Amira and David are the first to arrive. Sometimes a moment shines like the sun in the middle of the everyday. They spend the rest of their time laughing.(Amira-centric, set between S4E8 and S4E10. Follows on from the events ofHuriyah, but can be read separately.)
Relationships: Amira Thalia Mahmood & David Schreibner, Amira Thalia Mahmood/Mohammed Razzouk, Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner, Mohammed Razzouk & Matteo Florenzi
Series: Augenblicke: Druck Missing Scenes [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797349
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	Salaam, Shalom

"Hey!" 

Amira looks up from her phone. It's David, waving at her. She stands up from the park bench where she had been sitting, and waves back. 

"Hi, nice to see you! I love the shirt!" 

"Oh, thanks!" David looks down at the shirt in question: a dark blue button-down with constellations printed on it. "Are the others here yet?" 

"No… Mohammed has to do an errand, he's running late. And Matteo…" Amira shrugs. "As usual, I guess?" 

David laughs. "Hey, one o’clock is early for some people!" 

"You'd better text him to see if he's awake." 

David rolls his eyes, but then pulls out his phone. They both sit down on the bench together.

"You know I'm only joking, though, right? Like, I don't actually think Matteo is a fuck-up or anything." Amira adds once David is done shooting Matteo a text. "He's a great guy, and… I know he's been struggling a lot. I'm really happy he found you." 

David reddens, and looks away self-consciously for a second. "Um… thanks. Yeah. I'm really glad I found him as well. We were both having a hard time, but we got really lucky. I'm not sure I believe in destiny, but… I really needed him. And he needed someone, too. And it all just kind of… didn't go to shit, even though it could have, so many times. So, yeah." He feels like he's talked too much, but he still can't suppress a smile. He would talk about Matteo for hours if he could. 

Amira smiles too, crinkling her nose. "You're so fucking sweet together. Good for you." 

David looks around awkwardly, not sure how to reply, but he's still smiling. 

Then they hear the adhan sounding from Amira’s phone. Saved by the bell. “Sorry, have to pray.”

David nods. 

She goes; he waits, scrolling his phone. When she gets back she looks radiant, grounded. It makes David smile.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. A pause. “We could have planned to meet up a bit later, you know, so you could pray at home. I know it’s a bit too late now, but for next time…”

“Oh, no, don’t worry about it!” Amira laughs. “If I wanted to pray at home you would have heard about it. I was out all morning anyway, and I wasn’t planning on going home for lunch, so it was all the same to me.”

David nods. There’s another pause, longer this time.

“Hey, uh…” Amira seems to hesitate, which is unlike her. “Can I ask you something personal?”

“Sure.” David looks curious.

“You don’t have to answer, but I just… I guess I was just wondering, what’s… what’s being trans like? I mean… what does it mean for you?”

David fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “I like to say that… I just have to put a bit more effort into it than other guys.”

“You mean transitioning?” 

“Yeah. Partly. But… not just that.”

“What else, then?”

David thinks for a moment. 

“In the Jewish religion,” he says slowly, “it takes years to convert. A convert has to put a million times more effort into being Jewish than someone who's born into it. And they can be seen sort of as second-class by some people. But in the Torah we’re told to honor the convert. They have something others don't… the privilege of choosing. I guess I sort of feel that way about being trans.” He stops for a second, thinks about how to explain it. “I’m not saying that I  _ chose _ to be a guy, any more than cis guys do… It’s like for converts, some people believe in this idea that converts already kind of have a Jewish soul, and the conversion process is just to correct the error of them not being born Jewish. That’s kind of how I think of transitioning. But...” He stops to think again, plays with the buttons on his phone. “I still feel like I got to choose to be who I am, if that makes sense? I guess… most people just sort of go through life not thinking too much about gender, you know, and their relationship to it. They just accept what's been given to them, and most of the time it more or less works out. But I've had the privilege of — really realizing what gender  _ is _ , you know? And finding my place in it, finding what really makes me feel like myself. That took effort, yeah. But I’m learning to be grateful for it…” David smiles wryly, revises his statement. “At least, for the parts that meant something, and weren’t just other people being asses.”

Amira nods slowly. “I never thought about it like that… but that makes sense, yeah. I sort of feel the same way about my hijab, like… all these people who give me weird looks, who think it’s a symbol of oppression, or whatever, I feel like I have something they don’t. Because I’ve been sort of forced into this position where I have to question what society tells me to do. And I’ve realized that those people have no idea what it really means to be a woman, what it really means to be liberated or empowered or a feminist. They just take the easiest answer, the first one that comes to them, the one that’s pervasive, that’s everywhere around them. And they’ve never needed to question it. For some people I guess it works, but not for everyone. Some people never get out of that mindset, even if it’s hurting them. I know it would have hurt me. You can't know what you want if you only see one option. I’m grateful that I can see things more clearly, that I always knew there was more than one way to be free. Even though it’s hard, sometimes, I’m grateful.”

“Yeah.” David runs a hand through his hair, looks up at the sky. “I know what you mean. For me it's been… I mean, sometimes it's been awful, but in the end it's been a really important experience for me. I’ve had the freedom to experiment, you know, and learn, and leave behind what other people wanted me to be, and I’ve found something that really feels right. I’ve learned so much about myself that I don't think I could have understood otherwise. And I think a lot of people miss out on all that experience and authenticity and, like, self-knowledge, just by taking their assigned gender and going, okay, this is good enough, I'll conform to this. And they don't really stop and think how much of their expression is uncomfortable or fake or forced. How much of their understanding of themselves is just empty stereotypes about gender they’ve inherited from someone else. So, yeah. I think I’ve had the privilege of choosing. And that means I have to try a lot harder than other guys. But I’m proud of that. I used to wish I were cis, but I don’t anymore. I’m happy to be who I am, and I know how valuable those experiences are, now.”

Amira smiles. “I’m glad.”

David laughs, awkwardly. “That got really deep really fast, huh?”

Amira laughs too. A little Essam-voice in the back of her head shouts,  _ that’s what she said! _ , but all she says is, “I guess it did. Thank you.”

“What for?”

“You know, talking about it, answering my stupid questions, all that.”

“It wasn’t stupid.”

They sit in companionable quiet for a moment, reflecting. Then Amira breaks the silence.

“I just —” she starts, wanting to explain, wanting to express, but not knowing how. Doubting, then escaping doubt. “Well, the reason I asked is that… it’s really weird that you’re one of the first people I’m telling this to, but basically, I think I’m bi. I mean, I’m sure — well, I’m sure I’m not straight.”

“Oh!” David isn’t sure how to react for a second. Then: “Congratulations!”

Amira looks a little confused. David laughs.

“I mean, congratulations on self-discovery. Well, that and not being straight, that’s always good.”

“Thanks,” Amira laughs, looking up at the sky. “I’m just… I’m really glad I got to talk to you about this. Because… I’ve talked about it with the girls, but there are things that they don’t understand, you know? They sympathize, but they don't get it. Sometimes I feel like I can’t really talk about my religion around them, or about my family’s culture, or anything like that, especially if it’s something negative or anything I have problems with, because they just won’t understand. But… I feel like you do. It’s nice.”

“Yeah, it is nice. I mean, my sister is really the religious one, you should meet her. I'm just… well, I want to be religious, I think. I just had a bit of a rough time with it when I came out. I still haven’t been to synagogue in a long time. But I’m getting back into it. It’s starting to feel more like home than it ever did before. Before I came out, I mean. I’ve realized that… any God worth believing in wouldn’t want me to pretend.”

“Wow, that’s… yeah. I agree.” Amira looks up at the sky again, leaning her head on the back of the bench. She knows what she has to do, and now at last she feels like she has the strength to do it.

"Oh, look, is that our boyfriends?" 

Perfect timing. Matteo and Mohammed are walking up to the bench. They both wave. 

"Hey, sorry we're so late. We ran into each other on the bus," Matteo starts to explain. "I mean, that's not why we're late. That's just why we're both here at the same time." He leans down to give David a kiss.

David kisses him, then checks his watch. “Twenty-two minutes late! That’s nowhere near your record. You’ll have to do better next time.”

“You hear this guy? I swear he never wants to see me again.” Matteo sits down sideways on the armrest on David’s side of the bench, and lets himself fall backwards into David’s lap. David makes an  _ umph _ sound and Matteo laughs. “That’s what you get for trying to get rid of me.”

Mohammed and Amira watch them and then look at each other, and burst out laughing.

“Alright, who’s ready to go get kebabs? I’m fucking starving.”

“Just as soon as you get off my lap.”

Matteo flails his arms for a moment before flopping back down. “Too tired. Sorry. You’ll have to carry me.”

“I’m sorry, when did you wake up again?”

“Uh, like fifteen minutes ago?”

“And you claim to be tired.”

“I only went to sleep about three hours before that.”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“No, you.”

Mohammed squats by Amira’s side of the park bench, looking up at her with stars in his eyes, and the two of them laugh together, chatting while the boys mock-wrestle.

“Whenever you’re ready, you two,” Mohammed comments after a few minutes, pretending to be annoyed.

“You hear him? Everyone’s waiting for you.”

“Not my fault you won’t help me.”

And so on.

They do, eventually, get off the bench, and the group wanders off. Matteo and Mohammed, walking ahead, are arguing about the closest place to get kebab. Amira and David stroll behind them.

“Have you told him?” David asks.

“Mohammed? Told him what?”

“You know, what we talked about earlier.”

“Oh, about being… about being bi?”

“Yeah.”

“Not yet. But soon.”

David nods. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.” Amira smiles gratefully. “I just hope he’ll be okay with it.”

“Uh, yeah, I sure hope he does!” David says in English, trying and failing to put on an American accent. Amira raises an eyebrow. “You know, like the vine? Road work ahead…?”

“Oh.” Amira laughs. “You’re not a very good voice actor.”

“Good thing I’m not planning on becoming one, then.” David looks embarrassed. “Speaking of Vine, do you have TikTok?”

Amira raised her eyebrows. “And let the Chinese government track and censor me on top of the Americans? No thanks.”

“I had a feeling you would say that.” David grins. “You’re getting predictable.”

“It’s called honouring my principles. And I’ve always done it, you just haven’t known me very long.”

“Fair enough… But I just had the best idea.”

Amira rolls her eyes.

“You’ll like it, I promise… Matteo!” He calls out to the two walking ahead of them. “I need your help!”

“Yeah?” Matteo shouts back without turning around.

“I need you to film Amira and I.”

“You hate my filming! Whenever I film something for you it’s always camera angle this, lighting that…”

“It’s for a meme. You’ll do.” 

“Wow, thanks. Resounding praise from the love of my life.” Matteo sounds grumpy, but when he turns around he’s smiling. He faces David and keeps walking, backwards. “What kind of meme?”

Far too much time and four separate takes later, the four of them huddle together to watch the finished product. 

In the video, Amira and David are facing each other, looking like the beginning of a cartoon battle scene. 

"Pork is forbidden!" Amira yells at the top of her voice. 

"Yes it is!" David yells back. 

They run towards each other, and just as they're about to collide, stop in their tracks and launch into an elaborate secret handshake. 

"The camera is still shaky," David mutters as they watch. 

"You said I'd do. It's a meme, not an art film." 

David pouts at Matteo, but then smiles. "I love it. Let's post it." 

"Hold on, I never agreed to have my image shared with the Chinese secret services." 

"Yeah you did. That was the handshake. Contractual obligation." David crosses his arms. "Plus, you can't even really see your face in the video. You're facing sideways. And it's shaky." 

"Shut up," Matteo interjects. 

Amira rolls her eyes and sighs. "Fine. Whatever. If this gets you TikTok famous I'm making a video about the Uyghur genocide and posting it on your account." 

David tries to look exasperated, but his smile betrays a feeling closer to admiration. "Deal." 

When they get back from the kebab place, which Matteo still insisted was only the second-closest to where they started from, they sit in the grass, eating and joking. They talk for hours; the sun dips in the sky. Amira leans her head on Mohammed’s shoulder while he braids a crown out of dandelions.

“Is that for me, or for you?”

“I’ll make two. One for each of us.”

Amira grins. “King and Queen?”

“Nuh-uh.” Mohammed shakes his head. “No monarchy on my watch. More like Federal Chancellor and… uh… Chancellor’s husband.”

“A Chancellor doesn’t wear a crown.”

“If she were as cute as you she would.”

“I’m not  _ cute _ .”

Mohammed sticks his tongue out at her. Amira punches him in the arm.

“Hey!”

They’re about to start arm-wrestling when the adhan sounds from Amira’s phone. 

“Wow, I really lost track of time. Get ready, though, because I’m going to crush you when I get back.”

“I thought Allah condemned violence.”

“This isn’t violence. This is sport.”

Mohammed looks skeptical, but he smiles. Amira rolls her eyes. “See you guys in a few minutes," she says to the others as she gets up. "I’ve got to go pray.”

“Wait, uh…” It’s David. Amira looks at him, eyebrows raised, quizzical. He looks unsure of himself. “Can I join you?”

Amira still looks confused, but David pulls a kippah out of his pocket. “I mean, I totally get it if I can't, but I’m trying to, you know, get back into prayer a bit. And, uh, I’m feeling like I have a lot to be grateful for, right now.”

Amira still isn’t sure what to say, but slowly she nods. “Yeah. Sure. I like to pray in private, usually, but I don’t mind if you come with me.”

“Thanks.” David squeezes Matteo’s hand before standing up to follow Amira. “It means a lot.”

“That way is Jerusalem,” Amira begins to explain, pointing; David looks impressed, grateful, intrigued. “I mean, in case it matters to you. I don’t know if…”

As the two of them walk off, Mohammed and Matteo look at each other again, and smile.

“You’re not religious either?”

Matteo looks at his shoes, breaks off a blade of grass near his foot. “Not really. Sometimes I kind of wish I could be. My mom’s pretty Catholic. But… I don’t know. I guess I’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah.” Mohammed lies back in the grass, resting on his elbows. “I get that feeling too sometimes. But I think I believe that… whatever happens, this is right for me right now. I shouldn’t pretend to believe if I don’t. If there is a God out there, I like to think he’s watching me questioning all these things, and saying, good, that’s right, that’s what I made you for. You know?”

Matteo nods. “Yeah.”

“I just hope I can make it work with Amira. Religion means so much to her.”

“It means a lot to you, too. I can tell.”

“Since when are you a psychologist?”

Matteo snorts. “Me, a psychologist. I’ll note that down under ten worst career ideas ever.”

And so they laugh together, and feel somehow like they are sitting under a canopy of their whole lives. And a little ways away, Amira and David are praying, just far enough to be separate, just close enough to be together.

**Author's Note:**

> the tiktok they make is inspired by a meme i saw on tumblr but i CANNOT find it to save my life. if you have this meme please send it to me
> 
> also i'm not muslim or even particularly knowledgeable about islam really so please let me know if there is anything that doesn't make sense!!


End file.
